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A Grown-Up's Guide To Kids' Wiring Paperback – July 15, 2021

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 283 ratings

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Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach, grandparent, or the fun uncle in your family, YOU HAVE PROBABLY TRIED TO "FIX" A CHILD.

We've all said things like, "He has to calm down." "She has to speak up!" "Why won’t they just do what I tell them to do?"No matter the age or stage, kids are . . . hard. But understanding their wiring might change the way you look at (and speak to) every child that crosses your path from this day forward.

Communication expert Kathleen Edelman has spent three decades helping grown-ups make sense of the kids around them. The result? Better behavior, better relationships. In this book and the six videos that go along with it (free on YouTube), she’ll do the same thing for you and the kids in your family, in your classroom, or on your team.

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From the Publisher

Words can change a child's life -- A Grown-Up's Guide to Kids' Wiring

WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?

This book is for parents.

Do you ever wish kids came with owner’s manuals? Why won’t she get moving? Why won’t he quiet down? Why does one obey while the other ignores? Temperament expert Kathleen Edelman knows the answers.

This book is for Teachers.

Some students are inherently shy while others often have (too) much to say. How do you adjust your approach in the classroom to fit each students’ individual needs? This book will show you how.

This book is for Coaches.

Some kids are motivated by competition, others just want to have fun with friends. What makes the difference? Learn how to develop and motivate your players to be all they can be and be confident in who they are.

This book is for Counselors.

Why do some children openly share what’s going on in their life, while others clam up and refuse to speak? Understanding a child’s temperament will give you the tools you need to make sense of the kids who come to you for help.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

Expectations

Are your children living up to your expectations? Are they behaving the way you want? The journey to better behavior, effective parenting, calmer classrooms, and healthier teams starts here.

Innate Needs

Miscommunication is almost always unintentional. Each temperament needs to hear certain words. Building these into your vocabulary will ensure you say all the right things and avoid all the wrong ones.

Signals

What do moody, bossy, lazy, and obnoxious kids all have in common? They all need something they aren’t getting. Learn how to read the signals and what you can do about it.

When Temperaments Collide

Why are some kids easy and some kids are just plain hard? Every tension you feel with a child is the combination of your temperament and theirs. Here are some do’s and don’ts for every color combination.

Free extras and printables for coaches, teachers, and caregivers.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kathleen Edelman has one goal in life… to help people learn to speak kindly to one another. She has spent 30 years counseling and coaching kids and families on the art of communication using the four temperaments as a foundation. She has a master’s in Christian Counseling Psychology, a big heart for educators, and a surprising passion for fast cars and martial arts. She is married and has two grown children.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ The ColorWorks Group (July 15, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 342 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1943535558
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1943535552
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.39 pounds
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 283 ratings

About the author

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Kathleen Edelman
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Kathleen Edelman has one goal in life: to help people learn to speak kindly to each other. She is certified in Biblical Studies and Christian Counseling Psychology, and has spent more than 25 years coaching clients in the art of communication. She is married with two grown children and has a surprising passion for martial arts and pickup trucks.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
283 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book enlightening and helpful for understanding children. They describe it as a wonderful handbook with practical ideas and useful information for anyone working with children. The content is easy to understand and apply, and the book provides an entertaining explanation of personality and communication types.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

18 customers mention "Insight"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for understanding kids and their temperaments. They say it's enlightening for adults who struggle with small people in their lives. The book is described as informative and helpful for improving relationships with children and students.

"This is NOT a "parenting" book. But it IS a book on how to communicate with kids (and you'll learn about adults, too) better...." Read more

"...It is a guide, a book to reference frequently, and a tool for life change...." Read more

"...It has been SO helpful for understanding our 3 year old and how to best help her...." Read more

"...read that helps explain the differences in personality and communication types very well...." Read more

10 customers mention "Book content"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful and practical. They say it's a great guide with useful tips and advice for working with children. The book is organized well and easy to understand, making it a must-read for teachers, coaches, parents, counselors, bosses, and others.

"...It is a must read for teachers, coaches, parents, counselors, bosses, etc. (ie, again, ALL humans)." Read more

"...This book has it all, and is so much more than a book that will be read once and discarded or passed on...." Read more

"This is such a wonderful handbook for anyone who works with children! I’m going to use it as a class for teachers at my elementary school...." Read more

"...I highly reccommend. The book is organized well, easy to understand and practical. Go get it!" Read more

4 customers mention "Ease of reading"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They say it's a quick read with lightbulb moments.

"...The book is easy to follow and doesn't overwhelm you with "clinical speak" but focuses on real-world examples that get you to easily identify what "..." Read more

"...I highly reccommend. The book is organized well, easy to understand and practical. Go get it!" Read more

"...So grateful for Kathleen and her team for this practical, easy to understand and apply resource! Highly recommend!" Read more

"A quick read, full of lightbilulb moments! Enlightening to adults who are struggling with the smallish people in their life!" Read more

4 customers mention "Personality traits"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for understanding personality and communication types. It helps them understand their kids' temperaments and explains the pairings of each temperament.

"...It also breaks down the pairings of each temperament (like, a red mom with a green son; or a blue teacher with a yellow student) so you can use your..." Read more

"...This is an easy and entertaining read that helps explain the differences in personality and communication types very well...." Read more

"...It has helped me with my kids and learning their temperaments. Highly recommend reading if you have kids." Read more

"...I learned so much about what habits, sayings, and behaviors identify their temperament, how to speak to their wiring, and what correction works..." Read more

Life Changing for People of All Ages, Especially if You're Around Kids
5 out of 5 stars
Life Changing for People of All Ages, Especially if You're Around Kids
This is NOT a "parenting" book. But it IS a book on how to communicate with kids (and you'll learn about adults, too) better. You learn: how to identify yours and someone else's temperament, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what their innate needs are (what helps them live as their best self), how to talk their "language", and SO MUCH more. The second part of the book is color coded to be able to flip to the temperament you want to focus on. It also breaks down the pairings of each temperament (like, a red mom with a green son; or a blue teacher with a yellow student) so you can use your words to build up the kids (and other humans) in your life. As a mom of 4 boys who literally display each one of the four colors (19 red, 17 blue, 14 green, 10 yellow), this book has been invaluable! It is a must read for teachers, coaches, parents, counselors, bosses, etc. (ie, again, ALL humans).
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2021
    This is NOT a "parenting" book. But it IS a book on how to communicate with kids (and you'll learn about adults, too) better. You learn: how to identify yours and someone else's temperament, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what their innate needs are (what helps them live as their best self), how to talk their "language", and SO MUCH more. The second part of the book is color coded to be able to flip to the temperament you want to focus on. It also breaks down the pairings of each temperament (like, a red mom with a green son; or a blue teacher with a yellow student) so you can use your words to build up the kids (and other humans) in your life. As a mom of 4 boys who literally display each one of the four colors (19 red, 17 blue, 14 green, 10 yellow), this book has been invaluable! It is a must read for teachers, coaches, parents, counselors, bosses, etc. (ie, again, ALL humans).
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Life Changing for People of All Ages, Especially if You're Around Kids

    Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2021
    This is NOT a "parenting" book. But it IS a book on how to communicate with kids (and you'll learn about adults, too) better. You learn: how to identify yours and someone else's temperament, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what their innate needs are (what helps them live as their best self), how to talk their "language", and SO MUCH more. The second part of the book is color coded to be able to flip to the temperament you want to focus on. It also breaks down the pairings of each temperament (like, a red mom with a green son; or a blue teacher with a yellow student) so you can use your words to build up the kids (and other humans) in your life. As a mom of 4 boys who literally display each one of the four colors (19 red, 17 blue, 14 green, 10 yellow), this book has been invaluable! It is a must read for teachers, coaches, parents, counselors, bosses, etc. (ie, again, ALL humans).
    Images in this review
    Customer image
    12 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2021
    Yall. After reading Kathleen Edleman's previous study, this book is EVERYTHING I expected and SO MUCH more. This book has it all, and is so much more than a book that will be read once and discarded or passed on. It is a guide, a book to reference frequently, and a tool for life change. The color-coding of temperaments makes it very easy to go back and reference information. I am so, so grateful for this tool, this moement, and the capacity that it has to change every interaction with the children in our lives. While it is not always easy to repattern the thinking and my automatic responses, it is so worth it when I see the responses from my children. Thank you, Kathleen and team, for your dedication to this! It is going to be a huge catalyst for many.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2021
    We love Kathleen's temperments for adults and knew we had to get the kids' version when it came out. It has been SO helpful for understanding our 3 year old and how to best help her. The book is easy to follow and doesn't overwhelm you with "clinical speak" but focuses on real-world examples that get you to easily identify what "color" your child is. We find ourselves referring to something she does as being the "blue" or "red" in her, and it has given us a common language which makes it easier to resolve conflicts.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2021
    _I Said This, You Heard That_ changed my marriage. Now, _Grown-Up’s Guide_ is changing my relationship with my (very yellow) 4-year-old. This is not just a book that you read, going through steps and multiple acronyms, only to forget entirely a few months later. Kathleen is a very congenial author. This is an easy and entertaining read that helps explain the differences in personality and communication types very well. I LOVE the added QR codes that provide helpful video examples of every color. I wish this book had been available when I was teaching in the high school classroom. Great for parents/guardians, teachers, mentors, anyone who spends time with kiddos:)
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2023
    This is such a wonderful handbook for anyone who works with children! I’m going to use it as a class for teachers at my elementary school. I’m hoping that a Spanish translation is released soon, so that we can help the parents in our district learn to understand their children’s wiring and communicate with them more effectively. Thank you, Kathleen!
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2023
    Game changer for all of my relationships. I tried some techniques on my kids and they fell right in line with it. My Autistic child included. It makes a big different. The best part is it’s basically written in crayon. Super easy to read and follow.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2022
    The temperaments and putting them into practice on how we communicate was a game changer for my marriage and our parenting! I highly reccommend. The book is organized well, easy to understand and practical. Go get it!
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2023
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    I learned so much from this book. It has helped me with my kids and learning their temperaments. Highly recommend reading if you have kids.
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    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Great book for parents

    Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2023
    I learned so much from this book. It has helped me with my kids and learning their temperaments. Highly recommend reading if you have kids.
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    One person found this helpful
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