The following transcript is provided by YouTube. Mistakes are present. To hear the podcast episode, click HERE.
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Scaling UP! nation if you’ve been
following my favorite books you know
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Napoleon Hills Think and Grow Rich is
among them in this book he analyzed what
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successful people had in common and one
of these commonalities that he noted was
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successful people meet with other
successful people
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he then coined that meeting a mastermind
folks life is too hard to do it alone
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and that is exactly what most of us are
doing starting in early 2020 I will be
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launching our own mastermind called
rising tide the rising tide mastermind
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is made up of small groups of
individuals with the focus on helping
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each other succeed these groups will
include weekly video calls designed to
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solve key issues quarterly book
discussions with action plans quarterly
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one to ones with me a live event and so
much more I’ve personally been a member
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of a mastermind for years and I know how
key being in a mastermind has been for
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my own success and because of that I
know how key a group like this can be in
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your success the rising tide mastermind
is currently accepting applications we
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have very limited spots so go to
Scaling UP!
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h2o dot-com fordward slash mastermind to set
up a fifteen minute call with me to see
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if this is the key to your next level of
success
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welcome to Scaling UP! the podcast for
water treaties by water treaters where
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we’re Scaling UP! on knowledge so we
don’t Scale UP! our systems have
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everybody Trace Blackmore here your
hosts for Scaling UP! h2o and folks can
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you believe it it is December already
where did this year go it seemed like it
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2:15.4
has flown by and I hope it didn’t catch
you off-guard last year I took you
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inside some of the items that I do for
planning I believe that life is there to
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teach us how to do it better when we get
a second chance at bat and folks if the
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year did not go the way that you were
hoping that it should go this year well
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learn from this year’s lessons and
figure out what you need to do next year
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but don’t just focus on the bad stuff
because I know for a fact there was
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plenty of good stuff that also happened
in your year make that a lesson – why
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3:04.3
did some of these items that happen
happened so well to us what in life
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allow that to happen and what lesson can
we take from those successes to make
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some of the other things that we’re
trying to do successful as well when I
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meet people that are so discouraged
because they did not get one of their
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primary goals accomplished and whatever
time frame it was nine times out of ten
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it is because they didn’t fully plan
with their life in mind folks if you
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think you are going to take some
gigantic tasks that you want to get
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accomplished and you don’t prioritize
all the other areas of your life that
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are pulling on you your family your job
all the other things that you do well
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folks if you’re not paying attention to
that there
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no wonder that those things get in the
way so figure out how you plan with
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those things and figure out how you can
get those things to work to your
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advantage so you can get the important
things that you’ve decided that you want
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to get done done now one of the things
that I always plan each and every year
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is to read and learn new items folks I
love to learn new things because there
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is so much stuff out there that I just
don’t know and when I learn something I
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love to apply that in what I am doing to
see how I can improve my life well folks
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I have found something this year I did
not set out to find this but because of
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certain events that I had attended I met
this incredible person named Kathleen
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Edelman and she wrote a book called I
said this you heard that now at this
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seminar I wasn’t planning really to
learn anything I just went to socialize
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but she was speaking exactly what I
needed to hear because earlier that week
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I had had a conversation with somebody
that I really cared about and that
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conversation did not go well they
misinterpreted my words and thought that
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I was saying something that I never
meant to say and her book aptly named I
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said this you heard that what I said
they heard something completely
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different and folks I do not mind
telling you the Scaling UP! nation we are
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all friends that I get misunderstood a
lot I will have very good intentions but
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somehow it doesn’t play out well after
it leaves my mouth I didn’t know why
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that was until I read Kathleen’s book I
said this you heard
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and Kathleen allowed me to realize that
I see things through a certain paradigm
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that might sound familiar it’s very much
like the seven Habits of Highly
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Effective People you know that that is
one of my favorite books it is by far
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the number one book that I give away a
giveaway about 40 copies every year I
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actually didn’t realize it was that many
until I went back and looked at my
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Amazon account I normally order 20 at a
time and here we are in the year and
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I’ve actually ordered 20 I’m in my third
batch of ordering so I’ve given away 40
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and I think I’m halfway through the last
20 that I ordered anyway the reason I
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bring that up is because she taught me
how I should have been teaching people
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including myself the habits and
specifically the habit I’m talking about
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is habit 5 seek first to understand
before you are understood but Kathleen
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has a way of explaining things to make
things extremely easy so you now know
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how you can get there with somebody and
I don’t want to take away the entire
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interview and in this interview you can
hear how excited I am to speak with
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Kathleen folks if I can name one of the
most important things that I did this
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year in 2019 it was learning about what
she teaches which is of course
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temperaments and that might be a word
that you’ve never heard before that
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might be a word that you’ve heard and
you equate it with some sort of
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personality assessment well we’re gonna
talk about all of those things and you
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will also hear that Kathleen has just
helped me incredibly with some
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circumstances that I have been going
through by not being able to communicate
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with people well and I have a podcast
how ironic is that you pray she can’t
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communicate with people well well again
I would say something and other people
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would hear something else and I know you
know exactly what I’m talking about
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so please welcome
Cathleen Edelman to the scaling-up
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podcast and folks I know you are going
to love this interview my lab partner
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today is Kathleen Edelman Kathleen I am
so excited about this interview I am a
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two as well and we’ve had some
scheduling difficulties you’re finally
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here yes we’re talking to the Scaling UP!
nation about how awesome it is what you
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do and I know we’re going to talk about
how it’s been able to help me but I know
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the audience is wondering okay Trace what
are you talking about
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so do you mind sharing with the
scaling-up nation what it is that you do
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well what I do and what I’ve done for
decades is my backgrounds in
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communication and then I came across
probably about 28 almost 30 years ago
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temperaments and I noticed that these
were things that would really affect
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communication so I decided I was going
to learn everything I could about
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temperaments and how they affected or
helped communication and it has been a
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game changer so for decades I marry up
communication with how God wired you and
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found out that you really do communicate
out of your wiring so that’s what I do
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every single day is help people speak
more kindly to each other and you
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definitely do help people with that I am
one of the people that you have helped
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so much and there’s no secret I am a big
fan of the seven Habits of Highly
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Effective People it’s one of my favorite
books I’m a facilitator with that and I
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do really well teaching it but when I
get to habit five seek first to
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understand before you’re understood I’ve
always had difficulty with that and then
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you came along well when I teach the
seven Habits of Highly Effective People
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now we weave in your temperament
wonderful and it fits so well and we
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probably should back up a little bit cuz
we’re using the word temperament exactly
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and I know people out there are thinking
okay I understand personality
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assessments they might rather take them
for their job and those are myers-briggs
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there’s strength finders Enneagram so
all these things are out there and
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we add the word temperament to it
correct what does all that mean well
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it’s fascinating too because almost
every hiring process now has some kind
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of assessment and even the CIA does one
called Hogan I believe the name of it is
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and what they’re trying to do is they’re
trying to find strengths and weaknesses
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in who they’re gonna hire or put on
their team but really what we have to
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realize as temperaments is how you’re
innately designed they have been
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researched and documented as far back as
Hippocrates which was hundreds of years
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before Jesus walked the earth so there
are thousands of years old and what he
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studied was how people naturally
responded in different situations and
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they would fall into four different
categories so the temperaments are
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sanguine choleric phlegmatic and
melancholy so those are the names that
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were given about 6080 by a physician
called his name was Galan and what
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you’re hearing when you see disk and
strength finders and myers-briggs all
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these are spun off of the temperaments
but their personality so temperament is
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innate wiring from God it is your
voiceprint your fingerprint your hair
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color your eye color it’s unchangeable
but personality is evolving personality
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is birth order culture religion life
experience so what happens is when
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you’re up in that personality realm
these are great tools but but trace what
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they’re doing is they’re telling you
about you when you go down
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foundationally to the temperaments not
only do you realize how you communicate
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and the core between the motivation of
the things you do but it also helps you
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understand the person in front of you
it’s the only thing that really helps
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you understand another person clearly
and then that changes communication
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across the board so temperament is the
foundation of all those other things and
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actually will make them more workable
just like your seven habits right now
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that you know the temperaments you’re
using that wonderful tool much better
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right and much more effectively so the
metaphor that comes in my mind is an
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iceberg
uh-huh would is it safe to say that the
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temperaments are that huge chunk of ice
that’s below the waterline that’s a
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great word pitcher and and now
personalities are the small piece that
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we see exactly exactly and I mean this
is so impactful I have seen marriages
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change overnight I’ve seen parent
children relationship swrus toward I’ve
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seen business teams completely change
the direction of their ship just by
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understanding these aha moments that go
off that give grace like now I see why
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they think that way or now I see they’re
not trying to do something that I
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thought or what my perspective was you
see so much clarity and grace comes with
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understanding the foundation of the
temperaments with the personality
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assessments and I familiar with
myers-briggs okay depending on the mood
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that I’m in I’m either an ISTJ or an
ESTJ can personalities can obviously
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change based on situation there’s
constantly moving what about
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temperaments temperaments are
unchangeable and this is where you’ll
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get pushback I mean you’ll get people
you know don’t Pamina box don’t label me
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but there’s usually only one temperament
that’ll say that and it’s the choleric
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or the red later really don’t like to be
I think I know pointing right at you in
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my office I do this stepladder and the
first thing is acceptance accepting how
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God wired you you will realize that
you’ve always been a certain way maybe
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you’ve tried to be something different
at work or people have told you to be a
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14:28.0
different way or people have said you’re
too bossy or you’re too loud and and you
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have felt like you’ve had to be
different but the core of how you’ve
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handled and seen the world in the words
that you’ve used and your innate needs
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have consistently been the same so what
I love people to do is get to that
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acceptance level first and then once
we’re there and we go okay now I get
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what my temperament is then we can go to
awareness and then application and then
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my favorite place to land is
authenticity I mean that’s truly my goal
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is for everybody to be the best version
of themself authentically but you have
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to understand your temperament first
well let’s talk about understanding the
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temperaments because you use some really
big words yes colouring right and
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melancholic okay what the heck are those
things and then I’m assuming you put
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colors with those because that’s easier
to understand yes those can be a
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mouthful and I it’s a lot of times work
with children so that was my first thing
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to put them with color because if you’ve
ever seen a three or five year old tried
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to say flag matic you know it can be
comical most yeah most adults can and
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it’s just easier to understand so the
yellow is sanguine the red is choleric
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the melancholic is blue in the flag
matica screen and when you look at a
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chart like in the book I said this you
heard that there’s a chart each one sits
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in the chart in a very specific way so
that you can understand the reason
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behind why they do what they do so the
on the top of the chart is the yellow
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and the red they’re on the top of the
chart because they’re extroverts and
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that does not mean they like to be
around a lot of people that means their
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16:13.5
thoughts and emotions go outward these
people have no filter you know they just
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16:20.0
say stuff right right yeah I can see
you’re doing everything you can to not
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interrupt right is this a takeover but
their thoughts and emotions go outwards
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so these are people who talk before they
think okay and the blues and the greens
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are on the bottom of the chart because
they’re introverts
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and again this doesn’t mean that they
don’t like to be around people this
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means that their thoughts and emotions
go inward the I happened to be a blue
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16:48.8
green so I process things I I think
before I talk so that is very important
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when you’re talking about communication
because when you talk about the chart
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16:58.4
side to side the blue and the red are
above each other they’re on the right
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17:02.8
side of the chart and the right side of
the chart represents task-oriented
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17:07.2
people these are people who want
objectivity they want a reason behind
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what they’re doing they will pick truth
overt act every day of the week where
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17:16.5
the yellow in the green who are in the
left side of the chart are people
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17:21.4
oriented so they’re gonna want harmony
they’re gonna want connect ability they
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want people to be happy together you
know what they want the benefit of the
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17:31.7
team okay so right there
you’re think what’s very important and I
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17:37.5
want you to think about is most of the
green people are introverts that like to
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17:42.4
be around people so we in communication
we have to understand these dynamics
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17:46.5
because then it makes more sense when
you have somebody that wants to be a
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17:50.2
part of the group but yet doesn’t say a
lot of stuff right they’re very quiet
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17:56.4
people so this chart is extremely
important it sounds simple but extremely
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18:01.1
important foundationally for
communication Kathleen what is unique
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18:05.4
about each one of the temperaments well
that’s a great question because we
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18:09.7
talked about how the chart is set up and
in introverts and extroverts tasks
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18:14.1
versus people but what I would love to
start with is each temperament has
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18:19.0
something very unique about them that no
other temperament shares so for example
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18:24.6
the sanguine yellow they absolutely see
the best in people first they see the
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18:29.3
best in people and the best in
circumstances first no other temperament
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18:34.0
does that like the yellow the red this
is somebody you can throw a big net and
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18:40.5
see a vision as clear as clear can be
again nobody does that like a red the
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18:45.1
Blues what’s unique to them is they’ve
heard a lot in their life that they
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18:49.2
point out the negatives but really what
they’re doing is they’re anticipating
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18:54.3
the obstacles so for example you’re a
red and I’m a blue you’re very good at
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18:59.2
seeing from A to B and seeing B as a
goal I’m very good at seeing every
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19:04.9
obstacle between a and B so again if we
put together what’s unique about you and
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19:10.5
I we’re gonna be victorious every time
do you see a good example that is is how
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19:13.7
we work in my company I always felt
something was wrong with me because I
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19:18.3
get so excited about the vision yeah but
the day to day I don’t like being there
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19:22.6
however I have somebody who loves being
there and we’re a great team and they’re
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19:25.8
able to point out and say did you see
this I know you’re
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19:29.4
no a week out but did you notice this
this and this might have to be addressed
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19:33.4
before we get there exactly exactly
right and then when you what’s unique
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19:38.8
about the green is their their ability
to be calm in the midst of chaos this is
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19:43.8
somebody who’s just no matter how
chaotic it can be they just have a
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19:49.0
innate calmness about them so knowing
what’s unique to each temperament I
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19:53.9
think’s a good place to start before you
get into the descriptive words of a
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19:59.3
temperament and you say most people have
a primary and a secondary temperament
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20:03.1
when you and I were speaking at an
earlier session I asked you what my
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20:06.2
secondary was and I think you leaned
over and said sweetie you don’t have a
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20:13.1
secondary exactly and you might sit very
deep in your dominant temperament in the
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20:17.7
light in your second but you are both
your dominant in your secondary all the
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20:23.2
time so one question I get a lot is well
I’m I’m red at work but I’m blue at home
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20:27.8
and that really isn’t where I want
people to understand because you cannot
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20:31.4
really separate I’d be like cutting your
arm off and leaving it at work right
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20:36.5
your your combination is constant and
what we’re trying to do is we’re trying
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20:41.6
to live out of the strengths of both
those dominant secondaries all the time
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20:46.3
because that’s where you’re calling in
purposes it’s in the strengths of those
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20:51.3
temperaments not in the weaknesses you
said your ultimate goal is to get people
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20:55.8
into acceptance of these temperaments
how does somebody get there the first
20:55.8
21:02.4
thing is just to do the assessment and
answer truthfully and really have a
21:02.4
21:08.5
desire to be the best person a version
of them right you know again we have to
21:08.5
21:14.5
separate are we in flesh where we’re
doing things on our own which sometimes
21:14.5
21:18.0
well definitely you’re in your
weaknesses at that point but when you’re
21:18.0
21:22.2
in your weaknesses you also are looking
side to side like maybe I should be
21:22.2
21:25.9
better at this or maybe you know that
person is such a good leader and you
21:25.9
21:30.9
know maybe I need to be more like him
instead of landing in your strengths of
21:30.9
21:35.8
your own temperament in realizing all
temperaments can be a good leader in the
21:35.8
21:39.5
core of who they are all temperaments
can be funny in the
21:39.5
21:44.4
core of who they are all of them can be
kind all of them can be thoughtful
21:44.4
21:48.9
because you’re going to do everything
from the core of your temperament anyway
21:48.9
21:54.7
right and there won’t be that conflict
of what what’s wrong with me like what
21:54.7
21:59.5
why can’t I do this like that guy or
that girl right well and that was very
21:59.5
22:03.9
eye-opening for me because as we’ve
pointed out a couple times I’m very red
22:03.9
22:09.6
uh-huh and I see things from the red
paradigm that’s exactly and I would see
22:09.6
22:13.7
somebody else do something that looked
effortless to me why couldn’t I do that
22:13.7
22:16.3
mm-hmm
but at the same time when I talk to them
22:16.3
22:19.7
they say well you’re able to do these
things so well that’s hard for me
22:19.7
22:25.0
exactly and again when you know your
temperament you have your own set of
22:25.0
22:28.8
strengths you know you have to know your
weaknesses in order to know your
22:28.8
22:32.4
strengths and that’s another pushback
that people don’t they’re like why do we
22:32.4
22:36.9
have to talk about our weaknesses but
you have to know your weaknesses in
22:36.9
22:40.4
order to you wouldn’t know you were a
good leader unless you knew you could be
22:40.4
22:44.5
bossy right right I mean that’s the
whole idea
22:44.5
22:48.2
so you mentioned weaknesses and I have
to tell you when we go through the list
22:48.2
22:54.0
of weaknesses I think some of those
weaknesses really aren’t really real so
22:54.0
22:57.8
what are let’s talk about the
characteristics you mentioned some of
22:57.8
23:01.3
the strengths I know there are a lot
more but they’re also some other things
23:01.3
23:07.5
that go along when we are yeah
particular colors that we we do is the
23:07.5
23:11.8
descriptive words of the strengths and
weaknesses but this it would be a loss
23:11.8
23:17.1
for me if people described people only
in their descriptive words this is this
23:17.1
23:22.7
is just a tool so that you can learn to
stay in your strengths so for example
23:22.7
23:27.7
just to give a few yellows are inspiring
they’re encouraging they’re great
23:27.7
23:32.2
storytellers but they can interrupt they
can be loud and obnoxious they can be
23:32.2
23:37.2
compulsive talkers so for the yellow in
order to know that they’re good
23:37.2
23:42.1
storytellers or to know that they’re
inspiring they have to know those
23:42.1
23:46.6
weaknesses I have a little exercise in
the book that says I have a tendency to
23:46.6
23:51.3
so when you apply that and you go I have
a tendency to interrupt but I’m gonna
23:51.3
23:56.4
show curiosity
that empowers that yellow to stay in
23:56.4
24:01.2
their strengths which is where they’re
gonna be magnetic where they’re gonna be
24:01.2
24:06.1
a good leader where they’re gonna be
funny and kind and thoughtful but you
24:06.1
24:10.1
have to be so aware and your first you
where accepting yourself now you’re
24:10.1
24:15.6
aware and then you can apply these kind
of things so for the red this is a
24:15.6
24:19.9
person that’s driven they’re independent
they delegate well they excel in
24:19.9
24:25.7
emergencies but they can also be bossy
impatient intolerant of other people and
24:25.7
24:30.9
so just like the red I have a tendency
to be bossy but I’m gonna choose to
24:30.9
24:35.2
delegate well it’s really what the
circumstance requires of you at that
24:35.2
24:41.1
time but if you’re red you’re absolutely
wired for these wonderful strengths the
24:41.1
24:46.8
blue their analytical their logical
their compassionate their artistic their
24:46.8
24:53.2
creative but they can also be critical
moody skeptical right so again you have
24:53.2
24:59.2
to know your weakness side of flesh in
order to know your calling side which is
24:59.2
25:04.4
in your strengths and then the green
this is a kind thoughtful stable person
25:04.4
25:11.1
great listener great leader of people
but they can be unenthusiastic they can
25:11.1
25:16.5
be really have no sense of urgency I’m
married to this person so I know
25:16.5
25:22.3
and so again knowing where you can be
pulled to I have a tendency to and
25:22.3
25:28.8
replace that with the strengths will
also make so much more sense when we get
25:28.8
25:34.5
to what what separates me from
personality which is innate needs but
25:34.5
25:40.1
you have to know these descriptive words
foundationally in order to go oh now I
25:40.1
25:45.1
see what I’m trying to fill when I pick
one of these things which is the innate
25:45.1
25:53.2
needs and I had no idea how much I
needed these innate needs that you call
25:53.2
26:00.0
them until I started processing why am I
so upset about this exactly and it was
26:00.0
26:05.7
it truly was magic I understood myself
so much better so I could start splain
26:05.7
26:09.4
two mice
yes and when things weren’t going the
26:09.4
26:14.7
way I knew that I wanted them to go I
now had tools to do something about you
26:14.7
26:21.4
you were able hopefully to what I call
initiate the pause and realize why am I
26:21.4
26:26.0
being bossy well you know what let’s
talk about innate needs each temperament
26:26.0
26:32.0
has their own set so for the yellows the
innate needs our approval acceptance
26:32.0
26:37.8
attention and affection for the Reds the
the choleric its loyalty sense of
26:37.8
26:43.3
control appreciation and credit for work
for the blue it’s safety which is huge
26:43.3
26:49.1
sensitivity support space and silence
and for the green it’s harmony feeling
26:49.1
26:55.5
of worth lack of stress and respect so
Trace I’m telling you that is the game
26:55.5
27:00.4
changer if you if your listeners do not
listen to anything else in this whole
27:00.4
27:06.1
podcast those innate needs are gonna
change every conversation the direction
27:06.1
27:11.9
of their life just like you said it was
magic because now you can understand why
27:11.9
27:17.5
why am I being so moody what what is it
that I’m trying to fill here why am I
27:17.5
27:23.2
being so judgmental well I’m trying to
fill this innate need of sensitivity but
27:23.2
27:27.5
I’m doing it with my weaknesses I can
choose to do it with my strengths and
27:27.5
27:32.7
let’s talk about that so let’s talk
about each one of the colors maybe we
27:32.7
27:39.3
take an example okay and how that person
now is not getting what they need and
27:39.3
27:44.1
we’ll insert the pause okay I’m not
going to go to my weaknesses I’m gonna
27:44.1
27:53.5
go towards my strengths right and I’ll
tell you I’ve got an example a couple of
27:53.5
27:58.9
weeks ago I planned a trip okay
and the trip went great my wife was on
27:58.9
28:02.1
the trip she’s actually in the room
she’s laughing because she knows the
28:02.1
28:06.5
story that I was gonna gonna tell and
again you came to me and said sweetie
28:06.5
28:11.5
you don’t have a secondary color I am a
red with a secondary of red I’m a
28:11.5
28:16.5
planner yes I am a checklist person
you’re a bottom-line kinda guy I have a
28:16.5
28:20.0
checklist to write a checklist there you
go to make sure
28:20.0
28:24.6
we get checklists right so I had a
checklist for this trip and I had
28:24.6
28:28.8
somebody that was helping me lead the
trip okay and I was doing most of the
28:28.8
28:32.9
work but I had a couple things that this
person was doing gave them the checklist
28:32.9
28:38.9
gave them rosters yeah I mean we had
paperwork all this yes so they didn’t
28:38.9
28:45.2
follow it well and I just I mean I don’t
think anybody knew my head but that
28:45.2
28:51.0
bothered me more than anything and I
didn’t know why it was upsetting me and
28:51.0
28:55.4
and and my lovely bride Stacy pointed
out you don’t have a sense of control
28:55.4
28:59.3
with this yes and I don’t think until
that point I understood what you meant
28:59.3
29:04.0
by sense of control yes because I’m not
a micromanager I’m not a control freak
29:04.0
29:09.1
yeah but I need to know that everybody
understands a plan and they’re following
29:09.1
29:15.3
the plan yes and once I understood that
yeah I was able to accept it yes and I
29:15.3
29:20.4
was actually able to enjoy the moment
yeah but that was so powerful for me
29:20.4
29:26.0
that’s a fabulous story because I loved
the fact that you picked sense of
29:26.0
29:30.3
control because it’s the one that’s
misunderstood the most in the red
29:30.3
29:36.2
okay so there’s again loyalty’s huge
sense of control appreciation credit for
29:36.2
29:42.6
work everybody when the red is in their
weakness they can be very controlling
29:42.6
29:48.1
and they do it a lot of time with tone
and volume and they just really they can
29:48.1
29:52.9
be scary to other people especially
blues like myself but what is the
29:52.9
29:57.8
misconception with a sense of control is
is that you want to be in control would
29:57.8
30:02.3
I want to help people understand about
Reds as most Reds do not want to be in
30:02.3
30:07.8
charge they do not want to be in control
they want everybody following the plan
30:07.8
30:13.7
and pulling their own weight so if I say
to you I’m gonna do something and I know
30:13.7
30:20.0
you’re red I want to love you better by
doing it to show you loyalty and sense
30:20.0
30:25.4
of control if I say I’m gonna do it I’m
gonna pull my own weight that’s gonna
30:25.4
30:30.0
fill that part of that innate need for
you so that’s what you saw was when they
30:30.0
30:32.5
didn’t start pulling their own way and
following
30:32.5
30:37.6
plan your sense of control was going
astray and I bet what you felt was what
30:37.6
30:43.8
well I had to now get injury yeah I had
to I had to fill a void yeah he had to
30:43.8
30:47.9
step in and fix it he had to take charge
this is why I think the innate needs are
30:47.9
30:52.4
I’m so passionate about them is because
the one thing I’ve heard over three
30:52.4
30:58.3
decades that this this understanding has
taught people is not only about the
30:58.3
31:04.5
other person but how wrong our
perception of the other temperaments can
31:04.5
31:10.5
be we perceive choleric says always one
in control always wanting to be in
31:10.5
31:15.6
charge when really truly that’s not what
most Reds want to be they want you doing
31:15.6
31:19.3
what you’re supposed to do and so that
everybody’s pulling their own weight
31:19.3
31:25.6
you see I really want to change that
perception of what we’ve created just
31:25.6
31:30.3
looking through our own lens and I can
definitely speak to that as as a read if
31:30.3
31:33.2
things are going well
uh-huh I don’t I don’t have to be in
31:33.2
31:36.5
charge and I really don’t want to be
there I want to enjoy things just like
31:36.5
31:39.7
other people and experience the moment
somebody your strengths are though is
31:39.7
31:44.5
you’re great at building other people up
because you’re very good at delegating
31:44.5
31:50.0
and you’re very good at being a leader
that goes before people and kind of like
31:50.0
31:54.7
machetes the way for other people to be
successful so when you’re and your
31:54.7
31:58.7
weaknesses are people perceptive that
you want to be in control it keeps you
31:58.7
32:03.2
back from being all that you can
possibly be do you see so that’s why
32:03.2
32:07.2
it’s so important even for me to
understand the innate needs I don’t have
32:07.2
32:11.9
a dripper read in me but it’s an it’s
important for me to know them so that I
32:11.9
32:18.2
can speak a language that you can hear
and I can do what again what really is
32:18.2
32:23.2
the whole motivation of what I do in
that’s Ephesians 4:29 which we haven’t
32:23.2
32:26.6
talked about but it’s do not let any
unwholesome words come out of your mouth
32:26.6
32:30.8
only what builds others up according to
their needs and benefit all who listen
32:30.8
32:37.1
but how do you know what another’s needs
are my favorite thing that you say is
32:37.1
32:42.1
your words are a gift that you give
other people and and we talked about how
32:42.1
32:45.9
you know the understanding of
me and when people can do that to me
32:45.9
32:49.6
that’s a gift that other people give me
and what I’m learning through you is how
32:49.6
32:54.5
to do that through other people and and
that’s why I feel it fits so well in the
32:54.5
32:57.7
seven Habits of Highly Effective People
and habits four five and six four is
32:57.7
33:02.0
think win-win well that’s okay I’m not
thinking about me I’m thinking about us
33:02.0
33:08.2
and we’re gonna do what’s the best for
us thinking when when thinking that okay
33:08.2
33:11.0
now I have an opportunity to give my
words as a gift
33:11.0
33:17.9
yes habit five how do I choose the right
words because I can say exactly what I’m
33:17.9
33:22.5
thinking but they’re not the right words
for you to hear exactly and then through
33:22.5
33:26.7
that habit six energy we’re gonna create
something bigger with the two of us
33:26.7
33:31.2
right then we could by ourselves because
you have three other temperaments that
33:31.2
33:36.8
have a whole set of innate strengths
that they can bring to the table so for
33:36.8
33:43.8
the yellow attention approval affection
you know acceptance what’s misconstrued
33:43.8
33:49.3
and their innate needs is attention so
we want to put on them that they want to
33:49.3
33:52.8
be center stage all the time so if you
want to do some of the steps that you
33:52.8
33:56.8
just said to be effective you know you
want the yellow to also bring all their
33:56.8
34:01.5
strengths into this that what you’re
trying to create we have to understand
34:01.5
34:06.9
that really what a yellow wants is you
to stop what they’re doing stop what
34:06.9
34:11.8
you’re doing and make direct eye contact
with them and listen to their stories
34:11.8
34:16.4
these are verbal processing people so
when you stay on your phone and go yeah
34:16.4
34:20.5
just tell me go ahead just tell me
they’re literally that part of their
34:20.5
34:24.7
innate needs they’re what I call their
love tank is just going shoot right
34:24.7
34:28.4
they’re gonna be louder they’re gonna
get more obnoxious they’re gonna be
34:28.4
34:32.7
jumping around they’re trying to get
your attention that’s what they might do
34:32.7
34:36.8
if they start picking their weaknesses
instead of staying in their strengths
34:36.8
34:40.9
and saying hey I really do have a good
story or I’m very curious about this if
34:40.9
34:45.4
you’re not ready to hear it now maybe
I’ll come back in about five minutes so
34:45.4
34:49.7
the responsibilities of this
communication again isn’t just on the
34:49.7
34:55.1
listener but it’s also on the person but
we have to remember in communication
34:55.1
35:00.3
most of it lands on the
of the listener so we have to make sure
35:00.3
35:04.9
we’re identifying that person we’re
talking to and making sure that like you
35:04.9
35:09.6
said they’re hearing what you’re saying
and what you said was huge can you
35:09.6
35:13.5
repeat that about the responsibility of
the listener Oh in in communication
35:13.5
35:19.5
that’s hands down that most of the
communication always lands on the
35:19.5
35:25.8
listener not the person speaking because
when you say something I’m gonna hear it
35:25.8
35:29.3
out of my temperament that’s why they
covered the books I said this you heard
35:29.3
35:35.9
that right but I can initiate a pause
and I can say oh Christ I don’t I don’t
35:35.9
35:39.2
know if you meant it like that this is
how I took it
35:39.2
35:44.4
let’s make sure we’re on the same page
you know I want to make sure that I even
35:44.4
35:49.7
speak back to you in a language that you
can hear and eventually hopefully people
35:49.7
35:53.6
be that’s why I say the art of
communication it does land on the
35:53.6
35:58.5
listener but when you are the speaker
the first one to speak I want you to
35:58.5
36:03.4
pause as well and think about the person
that you’re speaking to because then
36:03.4
36:10.0
what I call you can eliminate the gray
area so you’re speaking life words but
36:10.0
36:17.3
also the listener can then pause and go
okay hmm did I hear that exactly like
36:17.3
36:21.9
they intended it to come in see we have
to be able to pair a knife chef like you
36:21.9
36:26.4
talked about earlier if I just leave my
blue glasses on I’m not gonna
36:26.4
36:31.2
necessarily understand what you say out
of your red words oh I’ve got so many
36:31.2
36:34.4
questions for you definitely just not
gonna have enough time we’re gonna have
36:34.4
36:36.9
to get you to come back where we were
just talking about what to do after the
36:36.9
36:42.8
pause yes yes but let’s talk about the
other items with with the other color so
36:42.8
36:46.8
we spent a lot of time on red and in the
yellow we talked about that and the blue
36:46.8
36:52.7
the one safety is huge that sensitivity
is the one that’s most under
36:52.7
36:57.7
misunderstood because we are sensitive
people because we’re emotional and were
36:57.7
37:03.0
compassionate right even though we’re
very reserved in private so there’s a
37:03.0
37:06.9
misunderstanding that comes into the
blue we ought we literally for all the
37:06.9
37:12.2
Blues listening I’m with you I’m blue
we feel odd like we just don’t quite fit
37:12.2
37:17.9
in right so sensitivity for a blue is
really that we just feel like we’re
37:17.9
37:23.7
understood so if you and I are talking
if I don’t feel understood I’m gonna
37:23.7
37:28.6
take a direct hit to sensitivity and
then hopefully I if I pick a weakness it
37:28.6
37:32.6
could be moody right but if I pick a
strength that’s where again I can come
37:32.6
37:37.5
back and revisit and I’m all about the
revisit which can be maybe episode three
37:37.5
37:41.5
but sensitivity just means I just want
you to understand what what I’m saying
37:41.5
37:45.5
if you understand me and I feel that
we’re on the same page and you
37:45.5
37:50.8
understood I said you don’t even have to
agree with me as a blue we don’t really
37:50.8
37:55.4
have to be agreed with we just want to
be understood so again it’s in that
37:55.4
38:00.5
innate needs you know safety sensitivity
support and space and silence for the
38:00.5
38:06.9
green harmony feeling of Worth lack of
stress and respect I think respect is
38:06.9
38:12.7
the one that really is misunderstood
because they’re so quiet but it really
38:12.7
38:17.5
falls on both sides in my office I work
with greens to advocate for themselves
38:17.5
38:23.1
because they have great opinions and
ideas but it really also falls on the
38:23.1
38:28.3
shoulders of the green to speak up
because they have great ideas and
38:28.3
38:34.5
opinions and interests right but respect
to a fellow Green if you find out that
38:34.5
38:39.7
your spouse or your child or a work
person is green is to ask them hey you
38:39.7
38:43.0
bet you’re kind of quiet and we’re
talking about this plan do you have any
38:43.0
38:45.3
ideas would you like to put anything on
the table
38:45.3
38:51.1
and agreeing will tell you oh yeah
actually I was thinking right or and if
38:51.1
38:54.7
they don’t they’ll go no I’m good and I
can think of some boards that I’ve
38:54.7
38:59.0
served on where now I realized that
these were green individuals and they
38:59.0
39:04.8
didn’t say a lot but when they started
speaking it just really gave you insight
39:04.8
39:08.5
about what we were talking because there
also remember introverts so they’re
39:08.5
39:12.5
processors so they’re thinking so the
best thing you can do in a business
39:12.5
39:17.9
world for a blue or a green is never put
them on the spot you send an email out a
39:17.9
39:20.9
week before or something these are the
topics of that are
39:20.9
39:24.9
in the meeting you know if you would
like to bring any ideas or opinions in
39:24.9
39:30.0
there you know they’ll be welcome bag
keeps gives me as a blue time to prepare
39:30.0
39:35.9
and it gives a green time to be not be
caught off guard or put on the spot
39:35.9
39:42.3
right because I’m neither of those
temperaments will will step up usually
39:42.3
39:46.5
they’ll usually withdraw if they’re put
on the spot but again the green has
39:46.5
39:52.7
great ideas and in great opinions
they’re just not usually asked or they
39:52.7
39:57.2
just usually don’t advocate for
themselves and as a red I see that as
39:57.2
40:02.1
lazy yes I did
you did don’t write no but immediately I
40:02.1
40:05.8
would go there why aren’t you doing this
why aren’t you acting on this and then I
40:05.8
40:12.3
would start giving the advice yeah yeah
and they even took withdrew more right
40:12.3
40:17.3
because inside they’re thinking why is
he pushing me you know what stop pushing
40:17.3
40:22.6
me that’s where the understanding of the
temperaments have the aha moments is
40:22.6
40:27.2
because people don’t want to be put in a
box or they don’t want to be labeled but
40:27.2
40:33.0
you’re innately gonna respond a certain
way and when a red pushes on a green
40:33.0
40:39.5
like that a greens first response
usually is to withdraw and to dig in
40:39.5
40:44.3
their heels they’re not necessarily
afraid of you in fact they’re the most
40:44.3
40:49.4
stubborn and strong-willed on the board
and they will push in those heels and
40:49.4
40:55.8
it’ll be very difficult to get them to
move so it’s again that a neat response
40:55.8
41:00.5
that people have that you it’s
unchangeable I mean you just can’t
41:00.5
41:05.7
change it but the perceptions like you
just said so honestly most greens that
41:05.7
41:10.5
are quiet are perceived as lazy these
aren’t lazy people in fact they’re very
41:10.5
41:17.0
intelligent people and again that is
what is so incredible about what you
41:17.0
41:21.5
have brought in very simplistic language
so so many people can understand and do
41:21.5
41:25.7
something with it
uh-huh we do misunderstand yes other
41:25.7
41:30.8
temperaments because we see it through
our own and we act through our own and
41:30.8
41:35.5
our words are through our own
and we’re not getting to that synergy
41:35.5
41:40.3
that we’re talking about and now you
given us such a clear pathway to get
41:40.3
41:44.2
there well I’ve told you before you’ve
heard me say it probably a zillion
41:44.2
41:49.5
million times from the stage or in my
office the one thing that all the
41:49.5
41:55.2
temperaments share is selfishness and we
really my goal is hopefully to get
41:55.2
42:01.0
people to move from selfishness to
servitude to just take that pause for a
42:01.0
42:06.1
minute know how you speake know the
words you speak but to honor the person
42:06.1
42:11.8
you’re speaking to and take off whatever
glasses you have on and put on theirs
42:11.8
42:17.9
don’t become them you cannot be I can’t
become red I’m not wired to be red but I
42:17.9
42:22.8
can love you better by speaking words
for a feeling loyalty sense of control
42:22.8
42:27.4
appreciation and credit for work that’s
my choice that’s on me
42:27.4
42:33.3
I can speak those words right and so we
all can and I think that’s what’s so
42:33.3
42:38.5
liberating we have the choice
we haven’t and when we choose not to act
42:38.5
42:43.9
that way we know what’s going to happen
we just have to and we’re gonna have a
42:43.9
42:49.4
do a whole show on the pause yeah it’s
really one of the biggest things and
42:49.4
42:56.7
it’s people want to go say it’s so hard
but what it costs you not to pause
42:56.7
43:02.1
causes soma can cause so much damage
because words are powerful and what I
43:02.1
43:08.1
see in my office it’s mostly
miscommunication right the reason we
43:08.1
43:11.5
have conflict is only one reason and
it’s because somebody’s not getting
43:11.5
43:16.8
their way so when I hear
miscommunication when I have a couple or
43:16.8
43:22.0
a family come in it’s usually somebody’s
not getting their way it’s usually not
43:22.0
43:27.7
intentional it’s not like somebody’s
intentionally picking death words to say
43:27.7
43:32.1
over another person they’re just
speaking out of their temperament and
43:32.1
43:36.2
sometimes either the weakness of their
temperament which compounds the problem
43:36.2
43:42.2
so yeah it’s a choice to pause and to
pick like words and you say that this
43:42.2
43:46.3
works with adults and also children
absolutely
43:46.3
43:49.8
one of the people that you know very
well that I know very well that’s in my
43:49.8
43:56.0
men’s group he shared with our men’s
group how incredible understanding his
43:56.0
44:01.5
son’s green temperament was and how it
just changed everything
44:01.5
44:06.9
yeah because again it’s that paradigm
shift and we have to realize this man I
44:06.9
44:11.9
think you have told me about him before
he’s read a read dad with a green Sun
44:11.9
44:18.4
God intentionally picked that man to be
that sons dad so there’s something in
44:18.4
44:23.7
the temperament wiring of that man that
is supposed to make that young boy
44:23.7
44:29.1
everything God intended him to be so we
have to get out of our own way and let
44:29.1
44:34.4
God do whatever he’s supposed to do and
that understanding of how do I feed in
44:34.4
44:41.6
love that temperament that that I was
given as my son right so it’s that far
44:41.6
44:45.4
into the understanding of the
temperaments that it’s in God’s design
44:45.4
44:50.5
who are we to question God’s design
right so you know to have them be
44:50.5
44:55.3
exactly who they were supposed to be not
who we want them to be and there’s so
44:55.3
45:00.6
much truth to that I have the privilege
of working with middle schoolers and we
45:00.6
45:05.8
just went off to a camp this past
weekend and I used your teachings so
45:05.8
45:10.5
much during that camp things that would
have frustrated me yeah in the past I
45:10.5
45:15.7
was able to see past my own mindset yep
and see you know this kid’s yellow
45:15.7
45:21.4
mm-hmm he is being his bright yellow as
he can be and I don’t need to extinguish
45:21.4
45:26.1
that because not doing something I would
do right I need to celebrate that thank
45:26.1
45:29.7
you for saying that celebrate that I’d
love that’s my thing initiate the pause
45:29.7
45:34.6
celebrate the differences and show grace
because now you could walk up to that
45:34.6
45:39.7
young boy and go you are such a great
storyteller you are so inspiring to the
45:39.7
45:44.2
group how about I put you in charge of
these 10 guys to lead well and
45:44.2
45:50.7
encouraging them to step up and do X Y &
Z you can literally now choose life
45:50.7
45:56.1
words to build up exactly approval and
acceptance and attention and affection
45:56.1
46:03.0
it’s so empowering it is very empowering
again so many questions yes so little oh
46:03.0
46:07.7
you haven’t even iceberg with whole
thing and parenting and children is
46:07.7
46:11.4
another whole topic I’m sure we’ve got
some people listening that are thinking
46:11.4
46:14.9
I’ve done this before and they’ve heard
the word temperaments but they’re still
46:14.9
46:19.8
thinking personality or so most likely
mm-hmm and I’ve done a ton of these
46:19.8
46:26.3
things for sales training yes and what I
noticed when I would go to these
46:26.3
46:32.2
trainings it wasn’t how do I choose my
words so they were a gift that I can use
46:32.2
46:37.5
them to build somebody else it was how
can I choose my words to manipulate them
46:37.5
46:41.8
to do what I want them to do yeah and
then and that’s exactly what I said
46:41.8
46:45.6
earlier personality and there’s some
good tools but they’re only gonna tell
46:45.6
46:50.7
you about you right and that’s exactly
where manipulation and control is gonna
46:50.7
46:55.9
is going to come out but again if you
think about communication there’s two
46:55.9
47:01.3
key things in it one is we listen but
most of the time we listen to respond
47:01.3
47:06.0
which is what will put you in that
manipulation mode we have to learn to
47:06.0
47:11.8
listen to understand if I take that time
to listen to understand you I can hear
47:11.8
47:16.2
the words that you speak right out of
your temperament then people have a
47:16.2
47:20.2
tendency to talk at each other cuz
nobody’s really truly listening they’re
47:20.2
47:24.4
waiting to respond right and so they
think it’s a good step if they just
47:24.4
47:28.3
learn to communicate which is the
exchange of thoughts and feelings and
47:28.3
47:31.9
emotions where we’re trying to get to
and you’ve mentioned it a couple times
47:31.9
47:36.6
as I would like you get to the art of
communication and that’s when you
47:36.6
47:42.0
consciously pick words that are a gift
to the person that you’re speaking to
47:42.0
47:48.2
and in order to do that you have to be
authentically yourself and then you have
47:48.2
47:53.7
to pause and learn and listen to
understand the person that’s speaking in
47:53.7
47:57.2
front of you are sitting in front of you
let me tell you I have sales people that
47:57.2
48:02.6
call me every day and go I cannot
believe this work works and again if we
48:02.6
48:07.5
do things pure-hearted
without expectation and you’re listening
48:07.5
48:12.4
and you’re really doing and speaking
words that lift that person up according
48:12.4
48:16.5
to their needs I’m Anna
away from you going gosh there’s
48:16.5
48:21.9
something about that guy I really feel
good when I’m around him or when I leave
48:21.9
48:26.7
it’s such a pleasant experience or
they’re so comfortable to be with do you
48:26.7
48:33.1
see it’s a it’s a whole different kind
of honest true communication juggins
48:33.1
48:39.8
just so so many questions yeah how about
we recap where we are right now okay and
48:39.8
48:44.9
we’ll get you to come back on the show
with where we are now okay and and and
48:44.9
48:49.3
we’ll leave with the pause okay and what
do we do after the pause so somebody’s
48:49.3
48:53.6
just heard this for the first time
they’re understanding that there is a
48:53.6
48:57.4
difference between personality
assessments and temperaments and that
48:57.4
49:02.2
we’re all rooted in our temperaments
they want to learn more about their
49:02.2
49:06.9
temperaments what should they do well of
course I’m going to tell them to do the
49:06.9
49:11.2
assessment in the book and when you do
the assessment in the book not only
49:11.2
49:16.1
because I’m blue do I want you to read
the instructions but it really is
49:16.1
49:21.0
important that they do it just between
them and whoever they feel their creator
49:21.0
49:26.9
is where this can also get messed up in
personality is when you don’t take the
49:26.9
49:33.2
hat’s off that you wear the dad hat or
the mom hat or the employee or the boss
49:33.2
49:37.1
or the brother or the sister or the
girlfriend all those hats have to be
49:37.1
49:42.1
taken off because you’re trying to find
out who you are authentically so then
49:42.1
49:46.2
when you go through the assessment that
I’ve written in the book you want to
49:46.2
49:51.5
read all four and you want to pick the
one that jumps out at you and you want
49:51.5
49:53.9
to do it in order if there’s an order to
it
49:53.9
49:58.2
so we want to start with though of
course one and go through right if you
49:58.2
50:03.1
get stuck on one immediately cross off
the two that aren’t you and then reread
50:03.1
50:08.3
outloud the remaining two and I
guarantee you one of them is gonna jump
50:08.3
50:14.4
out at you but when you authentically do
this assessment you’re gonna find out
50:14.4
50:19.4
how you naturally respond to things
that’s where you have to start you have
50:19.4
50:24.4
to start with at least a dominant and
then start working from there start
50:24.4
50:28.1
learning about the strengths and
weaknesses remember acceptance
50:28.1
50:32.9
then awareness then you’re gonna apply
the words that you use then you’re gonna
50:32.9
50:37.9
define your innate needs and then what I
usually hear in this fourth step is
50:37.9
50:42.9
freedom when you start hitting
authenticity and you’re not looking side
50:42.9
50:47.6
to side any more about how people are
telling you you need to be you just are
50:47.6
50:51.8
who God created you to be it’s
liberating it’s freedom
50:51.8
50:57.2
it absolutely is exactly Kathleen thank
you so much for letting the Scaling UP!
50:57.2
51:04.9
nation know what a powerful effective
tool understanding temperaments are and
51:04.9
51:08.9
and and I say tool that’s not the right
word that I’m looking for him it truly
51:08.9
51:14.6
was a gift that you were able to take
something so complex and make it so
51:14.6
51:19.8
simplistic that you can use it to
understand yourself better to understand
51:19.8
51:26.7
your children better to understand your
colleagues better and again I can’t
51:26.7
51:29.3
thank you enough for how much you’ve
helped me how much you’ve helped my
51:29.3
51:33.3
family how much you’ve helped everybody
that I came in contact with or I
51:33.3
51:37.6
continue to come in contact with of and
I’ve just don’t know where to go from
51:37.6
51:41.3
there but thank you well you’re very
welcome in the in again that that the
51:41.3
51:46.0
tool the book is a tool so and there’s
and there’s things in there that I use
51:46.0
51:51.7
in my office every single day but the
gift of your wiring is truly from God
51:51.7
51:58.7
so he’s just waiting for it to use it
when Asian I know that you have learned
51:58.7
52:04.7
something from this interview I know you
cannot see all of the notes that I had
52:04.7
52:10.3
for the interview I always prepare notes
so I have questions and we have a great
52:10.3
52:15.1
conversation that you the Scaling UP! p
nation can follow well folks we didn’t
52:15.1
52:22.0
even get a fraction through my notes I
have so many questions for Kathleen I’ve
52:22.0
52:27.5
got so many stories for Kathleen to let
her know how what she is teaching has
52:27.5
52:32.0
helped me has helped my wife Stacy has
helped my company folks we did this
52:32.0
52:37.7
study and Blackmore enterprises and we
understand each other a better were
52:37.7
52:43.7
actually able to work within each
other’s strengths and because we know
52:43.7
52:48.2
what each other needs because we know
each other’s temperaments were able to
52:48.2
52:53.5
speak in that language and I love how
Kathleen put this that this is not
52:53.5
53:00.6
manipulation this is making sure that
you understand the words that other
53:00.6
53:08.7
people need to hear so what you are
trying to say is properly heard by the
53:08.7
53:14.4
listening party and she also said that
the listener does the bulk of the work
53:14.4
53:17.7
and when was the last time you thought
about that when you’re having a
53:17.7
53:22.9
conversation with somebody Wow I now
have to listen to this person speak whoa
53:22.9
53:28.2
that’s a big job I need to make sure
that I’m hearing them the correct way
53:28.2
53:34.7
and I can’t help but think of all the
issues that we have in our country where
53:34.7
53:40.7
people are just looking for that one
soundbite to say that somebody didn’t
53:40.7
53:45.9
say something correctly or they try to
use it to prove a point whether that was
53:45.9
53:52.0
applicable or not folks the sound bites
that we are hearing on the news the
53:52.0
53:58.9
little clips all of that stuff that is I
think propelling this problem we really
53:58.9
54:04.7
have more in common with each other than
we think and if you can give your
54:04.7
54:09.1
attention your care to listen to
whomever
54:09.1
54:16.1
is speaking you will start to realize
that now Kathleen mentioned a bunch of
54:16.1
54:22.2
ideas in this conversation and again
I’ve got so many questions for her that
54:22.2
54:27.6
we did not have time to do it in just
one interview so here’s what I’m hoping
54:27.6
54:35.0
happened during this interview that you
once saw how excited I was to speak with
54:35.0
54:41.3
Kathleen and I let the nation know how
much that it has helped me so I’m hoping
54:41.3
54:46.6
you hear that in my voice and I hope if
you’re on the fence do I look at this do
54:46.6
54:51.8
I not look at this that you look at it
because it has helped me so much and I
54:51.8
54:58.6
know it can help you as well and you can
go on my show notes page and you’ll see
54:58.6
55:04.2
I’ll have many of the tools that
Kathleen uses that you can examine for
55:04.2
55:09.2
yourself and here’s the cool part she
puts them up there for free because she
55:09.2
55:16.1
wants you to use this material now she
does have a workbook that I recommend
55:16.1
55:21.7
everybody get and I will make sure that
that’s easy for you to find that will be
55:21.7
55:27.2
on Scaling UP!
h2o dot-com forward slash I said you
55:27.2
55:31.1
heard so her book is I said this you
heard that so it’s going to be scaling
55:31.1
55:37.6
up h2o comm forward slash I said you
heard of course all one word that will
55:37.6
55:43.2
take you directly to an Amazon affiliate
link and you will be able to get that
55:43.2
55:46.9
workbook and start working through it
folks when you understand your own
55:46.9
55:53.0
temperament take it from me you will
understand yourself better and when you
55:53.0
55:58.4
understand yourself better you can now
guide the words better that are coming
55:58.4
56:03.9
out of your mouth and I tell you how
powerful is it when you hear a phrase
56:03.9
56:10.1
like every word that comes out of your
mouth should be a gift to the people
56:10.1
56:15.0
that are listening folks if that does
not change your paradigm about
56:15.0
56:21.6
communication I’m not sure what will I
will tell you that I really feel that
56:21.6
56:26.3
this podcast
is a gift so we can help each other we
56:26.3
56:32.6
can learn more things we can become
better at whatever it is that we do and
56:32.6
56:39.0
I just think that this program I said
this you heard that fits so well within
56:39.0
56:46.3
that message now folks if you have more
questions and I’m sure you do
56:46.3
56:51.4
Kathleen’s gonna be joining us again on
a future episode and we’re gonna talk
56:51.4
56:56.3
about what’s the next step she mentioned
a pause and folks I know you know what
56:56.3
57:01.4
I’m talking about when somebody says
something to you and you instantly want
57:01.4
57:05.8
to lash back at them but you have a
little voice inside your head that says
57:05.8
57:11.5
yeah and that’s all I got for that
though yeah and when you get that on the
57:11.5
57:18.9
inside of your head that’s the pause
okay now I’ve got to choose the words
57:18.9
57:23.6
that are coming out and are they going
to tear down or these words going to
57:23.6
57:30.5
build up that’s what she’s going to talk
about next folks another reason I’m so
57:30.5
57:36.5
excited about bringing Kathleen to you
is it has really helped how I work with
57:36.5
57:41.5
other people you’ve heard on a previous
episode where I was with Tim Fulton and
57:41.5
57:47.8
we were talking about how not only am i
coaching people now but also we are
57:47.8
57:52.7
starting a mastermind group of course a
mastermind group is a group of
57:52.7
58:00.0
like-minded individuals that are coming
together to make sure that you can
58:00.0
58:05.8
succeed and that’s the only interest
that they have is that they wants you to
58:05.8
58:09.8
succeed sometimes when you surround
yourself with friends you get what
58:09.8
58:14.6
friends want other friends to tell you
and that’s not what this is this is
58:14.6
58:19.8
where people that are just invested in
you because they want you to get better
58:19.8
58:23.5
and if they were going to tell you
something that’s not nice they’re going
58:23.5
58:27.8
to tell you something that’s not nice
because it’s going to benefit you well
58:27.8
58:32.2
folks when we are communicating with
each other with this information you
58:32.2
58:37.6
better believe that we are you
in Kathleen’s language because if we are
58:37.6
58:42.6
not speaking the way that people are
listening we’re not going to get that
58:42.6
58:48.7
message across to them so again such a
powerful tool I have used it in my
58:48.7
58:52.2
company I’m using it in the mastermind
of course the other members of the
58:52.2
58:58.2
mastermind are using that I use that
when I coach other people and I’ve seen
58:58.2
59:06.0
how other people use it as well and it
almost becomes effortless that you now
59:06.0
59:12.2
can help somebody with the right words
and that person will just walk away
59:12.2
59:16.7
saying WOW trace really gets me or
whomever you’re speaking with really
59:16.7
59:22.5
gets you and that’s why that is because
that person understands temperaments one
59:22.5
59:28.1
nation as I mentioned at the top of the
show it is December it is time to start
59:28.1
59:34.1
thinking about your goals
get out your list see what went well
59:34.1
59:40.5
this year and celebrate that and the
things that you need to work on
59:40.5
59:44.8
well hey celebrate that too because if
it didn’t go well there’s a reason for
59:44.8
59:49.9
it and if you understand that reason you
can break through that and you can
59:49.9
59:55.1
figure out what you need to do next and
I also want to mention there might be a
59:55.1
59:59.5
reason that you didn’t get it done so
don’t discount that either is it still a
59:59.5
1:00:04.6
good goal and if it’s not well hey you
realize that and move on but if it is
1:00:04.6
1:00:11.8
use what life is teaching you and figure
out how you can get that done nation
1:00:11.8
1:00:16.2
thank you so much for listening to
Scaling UP! h2o I love being able to
1:00:16.2
1:00:23.1
bring things to you that have helped me
so much I know for a fact that this tool
1:00:23.1
1:00:30.1
I said this you heard that is definitely
one of those things and I’d love to hear
1:00:30.1
1:00:34.6
how you have used that so we’re going to
be hearing from Kathleen again in a
1:00:34.6
1:00:39.5
future episode but in the meantime you
will hear from me next week on our next
1:00:39.5
1:00:45.6
episode of Scaling UP!